When it comes to weight issues, it is definitely something that I deal with on a daily basis. I have my ups and downs, and it’s been an ongoing battle for many, many years. When I was younger, I was actually quite thin. It wasn’t until I hit puberty around 9 when I started gaining a significant amount of weight. Now, I’m not blaming my sole weight gain on the fact I was starting puberty, but I’m sure some of the weight was from it. I was active in sports like swimming, basketball, and soccer. None of these contributed to any weight loss, and honestly at that age, it wasn’t a real concern then. You’re a kid; be a kid!
Teasing came mostly from my family. My brother had given me the nickname “Fatty”, and he called me by that instead of my name so much that I would respond to it. Out of all the girls in my family, I felt that I was the biggest. Everyone else was skinny or average in weight and here I was nothing like them. A huge part of my family lives in Georgia and it wasn’t until I had to move from California to Georgia that my insecurity from my weight had started. Every time I had to attend a family function, the top concern from everyone was my weight. The first thing they would say was, “Oh, you gained weight!” or “You’re so big now!” - uh, nice to see you, too. I just remember feeling so down after having to come back home from these events and not wanting to go to them anymore.
During high school was when I felt the most insecure. It was so hard finding clothes that fit me. When everyone else was shopping at the trendy stores, I was shopping at the ladies department hoping that something fit. I remember when I went shopping at the outlets with my cousins, it would be embarrassing if the XL clothes didn’t fit me. I would just make it look like I didn’t like any of the clothes there, but in reality, it was because I couldn’t fit into any of them.
It wasn’t until after I graduated from high school that I started to do something about my weight. I didn’t go straight to a 4 year college right away. Instead, I went to a community college first. One of the first classes I took there was an aerobic class, and that was a great start. It was a great motivation to exercise since I knew I had to attend the class for a grade. But along with this started an unhealthy relationship with trying to lose weight. I started to extreme diet and also went on many fad diets/programs (which I don’t recommend. EVER). I also started to become obsessed with the “beauty standard” laid out in the media you see on tv and magazines.
Now, Koreans/Asians are quite petite and skinny, and growing up all I heard from my mom and other female family members were how they were 100 lbs or less. The heaviest my mom has been was 125 lbs and that was when she was pregnant with my brother! The last time I weighed that much was probably in middle school! Korean weight standards are quite ridiculous. If you look at the profiles of your favorite actresses and singers, their weight will mostly likely be listed 100 lbs – even the taller ones. I remember watching the Korean variety show Running Man and actress Song Ji Hyo was weighed in one of the episodes. She was around 115-120 lbs, which is completely healthy, but everyone was making fun of her that she was overweight! She looked amazing, so it was quite ridiculous for them to be mocking her. This is not the message they should be sending to young girls out there watching the show. I love that show, and I know it was meant to be entertaining and funny, but I was quite disappointed at that part. My goal weight is around 125-130, so in Korea I’m probably considered morbidly obese.
Over the years, I have been successful in losing weight. A large part was doing it the healthy way in means of exercising and eating right. But of course once I stopped, I gain back the weight so easily. I can gain weight just from drinking water and possibly just from breathing air. Things have happened, and weight has gained back and doubled. I started Weight Watchers back in December 2013 and lost 18 lbs. I stopped Weight Watchers around May thinking that I could do it on my own and since then I have gained 8 lbs. Wow, those 8 lbs sure do make a difference as I can see my double chin peaking through again. I realized that Weight Watchers and programs where you are counting points or calories has worked the best for me out of all the things I have done. Instead of going back on WW, I downloaded the My Fitness Pal app which was recommend to me and plus, it’s free! I haven’t had it for too long, but it’s a jumpstart again.
For those who are trying to lose weight, I know, it’s not easy. But you can do this! We can do this! I know I'll never live up to the Korean weight standards, and I'm completely fine with that because that's something I don't care to ever achieve. Even though I do have a goal weight, the numbers don't mean too much. As long as you feel good inside and out, that's all that matters. If you need a buddy or need some motivation, you can always hit me up on twitter or email me. Good luck! :)